8 haircut jokes

1. Did you hear about the prostitute who became a barber? She doesn't do fancy haircuts, but I hear she gives excellent 'trim.' Also, she shows off her 'vagina.'

2. I walked into the barbershop the other day, and he told me a haircut costs twenty dollars. Twenty bucks! Look, I can cut my own hair for free, then spend the 20 bucks I saved on the hat I'm going to have to wear for the next three months.

3. My wife asks me, "why do you keep going to have your haircut if you don't have any hair?" So I ask her, "How come you keep making beauty appointments?"

4. My girlfriend's really into that band N'Sync, so I went to the barber and told him to make me look like Justin Timberlake. So he gave me a pair of bloody underpants and jerked off into my face.

5. If people don't stop telling me to go get a haircut all the time, I swear to God I'm going to give one of them a face cut.

6. It's been said that a fresh haircut makes you feel like a million bucks. In my case, given to a drug dealer by a pimp in exchange for a suitcase full of crank.

7. My girlfriend said I'm not getting any more sex until I shave my back. I told her I'd shave my back if she shaved her pussy first. So now I'm fucking a bald cat.

8. I wanted to learn about this punk music stuff, so I found some punks and asked them to teach me about it. They said if I really wanted to learn about punk music, they'd have to give me a mohawk first. So I STILL don't know shit about punk music, and now I have to drag this goddamned Indian around with me all the time.