Good Jokes

Walking Eagle
President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American
Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his
future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of
living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed
"YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk for
approval.
Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most
enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers".
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a
plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking ...   Full text

Bush was in Africa with natives talking about Developing Aid, for instance:
"We americans love you, you are the best partners we have etc...."
All the natives shouted "HUGGA! HUGGA!" and Bush got excited: "I am on your side, we will give more money etc"
Natives: "HUGGA, HUGGA ;HUGGA" very loud and entusiastically.
Later Bush aske the chief "Can I have a look att your cattle over there?"
Chief "YES, but be careful that you do not step on hugga"

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE IS
CHANGING THE NATION'S EMBLEM TO A CONDOM BECAUSE IT MORE
CLEARLY REFLECTS HIS ADMINISTRATION'S OFFICAL & POLITICAL
STANCE.
HERE ARE A FEW REASONS THAT HAVE CAUSED HIM TO DO THIS.
THIS IS COMPLETLY BACKED BY INTELLIGENCE REPORTS THAT HIS
ADMINSTRATION HAS RECEIVED AND REVIEWED.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next
generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security
while you're actually being screwed.
It just doesn't get more accurate than that.

There is the Pope, a 10 year old boy, George Bush, an accountant and a
lawyer on a plane and only 4 parachutes on board when all of a sudden
the engins die and the plane starts to go down. The accountant says, "the
world runs around money so I have to live" He jumps out of the plane. The
lawyer stands up next and says" The world needs law and order so I must
live as well" He jumps out of the plane. George Bush stands up and says"
I'm the president of the USA and the most important person in the world, I
can't die" He jumps out of the plane as well. The Pope says to the little
boy, " You take the last parachute and live I've done my job in this ...   Full text

What did George Bush do when he found out Al Gore got a nipple ring?
He got a Dick Cheney

Bush or Kerry
There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of
them are Bush fans.
Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the
teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy--Johnny.
The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says,
"I'm not a Bush fan."
The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?"
Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry
fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry fan, and my Dad's a Kerry fan,
so I'm a Kerry fan!"
The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if
you're Mom ...   Full text

who is bush related to?
george bush SR.!!!

im called ste the rocket rostron and i am the world biggest joke i want to sleep with tony blair and then let G.W bush lick his cum off my face. I love tony blair VOTE LABOUR so i can lick his balls for 4 more years.
Send Britain Forward
Not Back
LABOUR RULES
i live in blackburn

Cheneys daughter is wrighting a book about her life
the working title of the book is " the only DICK I love is my daddy"

One day George Bush, Osama Bin Laden, and Suddam Hussain was walking through the desert when they saw a lamp.
They all grabbed the lamp at the same time and a geanie came out. The geanie said I can grant you all one wish because I can only grant three every time I come out.
So Suddam went first and said I wish to have peace with all countries.
A snap of the geanies finger and the wish was granted.
Bin Laden went next he said I want a wall 50 feet wide and 100 feet tall built around my country with no windows, no cracks, and no doors. A snap of the fingers and there was a wall.
Bush went next, he said, So you want a wall 50 feet wide and 100 feet tall.
Bin Laden ...   Full text

there's a rich guy who was diagnosed of having brain cancer and gonna die soon. the doc suggests him to do a brain transplantation and lists the choices of brains he can use and the price of them
karl marx's brain for 1 million dollars
einstein's brain, 2 million dollars
bush's brain, 5 million dollars
the rich guy was surprised that the price of bush's brain is more expensive than the other two genius, and inquired the doc
the doc simply replies, "simple, his brain is brand new. he never uses it in his entire life."

Theres 4 people on a plane and the plane is about to crash into a mountain. Unfortunately there are only 3 parachutes. The people on the plance are: Micheal Jordan, The Pope, Bush, and 9-year old.
They cant deside which 3 people will get parachutes.
Micheal Jordan takes a parachute and yells "I'm too famous to die!"
*Jumps off the plane*
Bush yells out "I'm the president of the USA! I can't die!"
*Jumps off plane*
Its down to The Pope and the 9-year old boy. Only one parachute left.
The Pope says "It's ok I've lived my years, I'll let the kid go."
Then the kid says "It's ok we can both go. That stupid american guy that looks like a monkey took my backpack."

this guy goes to heavon and at the gates there's all these clocks. And the guy says to god, " what are all these clocks for?"
And he says, "every time some one lies, the hands on the clock spin." And the guy says, "were's bush's clock?"
And god says, " It's in my room. Im useing it as a cieling fan."

What do you get when u mix a monkey and a voting scandale?
A president

there was a man hu had a house it was a big house. 1 day he went 4 sum
bread. wen he came home it was on fire, n a little green man was running
away from it!! he got a nw house it was smaller than the big house. it was
medioca size house. n he went 4 sum milk n he came bak n the medioca
house was on fire. n the little green man was running away. so he bought
a smaller house, this was average. he went 2 buy sum butter. he came
home and the average house was on fire and a little green man was
running away. so then he bought a small house. it was piddley. he went 2
buy sum cheese n wen he came bak the piddley house was on fire and a
little green ...   Full text

What does bush and his mom have in commmon?
a voodoo dildo.

President Bush decided to go riding on his ranch with Barbara Bush as a belated Mother's Day present.
She made it three miles before her legs gave.

From: Osama Bin Laden
To: President G.W. Bush
37OHSSV O773H
(to decode the msg read it upside down)

From: Osama Bin Laden
To: President G.W. Bush
37OHSSV O773H
(to decode the msg read it upside down)

Why does Laura have to be on top when she's having sex with her hubby?
Because Bush can only fuck up.

George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says:
"As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how my
country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a
Kingdom"

The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom,
you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."

George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a
Principality then?",

To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a principality you
have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince ".

Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How bout an
Empire then?"

The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies " ...   Full text

With all your honour and dignity - what would you do? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thinking...
By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one way or the other.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, but yet spontaneous.............
You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact...There is a chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane along with all the flooding...
There are huge masses of water all around you.... You are a ...   Full text

1 out of every 3 americans are overweight mr. bush. how will u slow this down?
Shoot em

Bush (in a southern voice): My fellow Americans, ................(2 min. puase).................I don't know what to say because my papers blank.

G W Bush joined the National Guard to stay out of the Vietnam jungles, but now he likes to play in Rice's paddy.

Q.what was R.E.M'S reaction to bush being re-elected?
A. "ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT......"

George Bush is sat in the oval office one morning, reviewing the Iraq situation with his generals. The door opens, an aide walks in...."Bad news Im afraid ,Mr President...we have just had word that 3 Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Iraq"
President Bush drops to his knees and puts his face in his hands...and starts sobbing with grief....absolutely inconsolable...the President seems to have taken the news incredibly badly......All the assembled generals can hear from the president is a mumbled "oh my god ...oh my god...."
Eventually, Bush looks up to Dick Cheney through teary eyes from where he is kneeling and asks....."Exactly how many is a brazillion,Dick?"

Ralph Nader, Al Gore and George W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun. After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decide to visit the men's room and they find a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance who says;
"Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, Ralph Nader steps up and says, "I think I'm the most truthful of us three" and he suddenly finds the ...   Full text

His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"

One day, three boys was walking and all of a sudden they see George W. Bush drowning. The three boys, not thinking, jumped down and saved him. After Bush was saved, he turned to all three of the boys and said "Thanks for saving my life, i will give you guys anything you want." The first boy said "okay, i want a mercedes". Bush said "Ok." The second boy says "Ok, i want one million dollars." Bush said "ok". The last boy said "I want a coffin." Bush said "why?" The boy said "my parents will kill me after i tell them who i saved today."