Good Jokes

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: Whats Better Than a Talking Dog?

A: A Spelling Bee!

The man rode in the elevator skyscraper, go bored ... The man asked the
attendant:
- Apparently, you have a very hard work?
- Yes, sir.
- And that the worst of your work, perhaps ups?
- No, Sir.
- Well, then, perhaps descents?
- No, Sir.
- What will happen then?
- Questions, Sir. Just stupid question.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot 20 rounds, he shoots 1 round 20 times

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands when he came back they were just called the Islands

Chuk Norris is not God, because God admires him.

There is a new "Find Chuck" book. His face is in the middle of everypage, but you don't dare find him, out of sheer terror os being round house kicked in the face.

My wife doesn't fuss at me anymore, because she was looking thru my phone and saw CHUCK NORRIS'S number in my contacts!

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say-talk in your sleep.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

yo mumma so stupid that when the barmen said the drinks are on the house she got a ladder out.

Chuck norris ate a box of sleeping pills but it only made him blink

If Steven Segal fought a bear he would walk up and snap his neck, if it was Rambo he would cut it in half, if it was Chuck Norris the bear would know better.

Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

You'd better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?