Good Jokes

a blond walks into a bar. ouch

Why is a blonde's coffin Y-shaped?
because when they lie down their legs open!

how can you tell when a blonde is confused???
When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil!!!

Two Blonds walk in to bar------ya think the2nd one would of seen it

How do u hit as blonde without actually hitting her
With a thought

What botton did the blonde push when they read push any botton on the computer.
Their belly botton

What do u get when u cross 2 blondes together
Half a BRAIN

How do u keep a blonde busy
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Why was the blonde staring at an orange juice bottle for 2 hours
Cuz it had Concetrate on it

A Russian, an American, and a blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
The blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

If a blonde and a brunet fell off a cliff at the same time and went at the same speed which one would hit the ground first
The brunet would because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions

I blonbe got a free lesson to a helicopter and when she got it she radioed in and said,"what do I do". The people said fle to 10,00 feet,so she did.Then she said "where do I go now".They said a go to 20,000 feet. Then they herd a loud crash and the blonde was bairly alive a they asid "What happened" and the blonde sais "It got too cold so i turned the big fan off".

Why did the blonde girl have a bruise on her bellybutton?
Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Once there was a blonde who decided she wanted to earn some extra cash.
She rang one man's door bell and explained what she wanted to do.
"How much will you charge to paint my porch?" The man asked her.
"I'll do it for $50," she said.
He agreed and she started working.
Meanwhile the man's wife asked him if she knew that the porch extends all around the house.
"Well she should cause she was standing on it," the man said.
When the blonde was done she came to collect her money.
"Your done already?" the man asked.
"Yes, and I even had enough time to put two coats on it," the blonde said.
"And by the way, thats not a Porsche, thats a Ferrari!"

Whats a smart blonde?
A golden retreiver

How could u make a blonde laugh next year
Tell her a joke today

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.
Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits.She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car.My children are ...   Full text

joke1. what does a blonde and a bowling ball have in common.
They will both end up in a gutter
joke2.what does a blonde and a screen door have in common.
the more u bang the looser they get!!!!

3 died blonds are on a flight to cuba for a holiday 2 are wearing undies the third isn't the other 2 blondes ask the third why she is not wearing undies she answers if we crash the first thing they look for is the BLACK BOX

Q- What happened to the tap dancing blonde?
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A- She fell in the sink.
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Q- What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
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what do you do when a blonde throws a grende at you
PULL THE PIN AND THROW IT BACK

what do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you ...........................................
run like HELL shes got a grenade in her mouth

Why did the blonde student get pregnant by the mexican?
Because the teacher told her to go home and do an esa!

Q. How do you confuse a blonde on Monday?
A. Tell her a joke on Friday!
Q. How can you tell a blonde was at the computer?
A. The white out on the screen.

There was this blonde women and she went to her dads farm, she saw a cow and felt like the cow was saying shit. so she asks how much milk can u produce more than me? the cow says thats it u have insulted me and sticks his horns in her ass than she goes to her dad and say the cow horned me in the ass the dad laughs and says ur silly thats not a cow thats a steer.

Q-Why do blondes keep empty milk cartons in the fridge? A-In case any of her house visitors want black coffee!

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all entered a swimming contest, 2 swim frm Santa Monica 2 Catalina doing the breaststroke.
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About 14 hours later the redhead staggered on 2 the shore, she woz declared the fastest breaststroker. Bout 40 mins l8r the brunette crawled on shore, n declared the 2nd place finisher.
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4 hours after this the blonde finally came a shore n collapsed in front of worried onlookers..........when a reporter asked her y it took so long 4 her 2 complete the race she replied "i don't wanna sound like ...   Full text

There was a blonde and a brunette and they walked into a bar, sat down and started to watch the 7:00 news.
The Brunette said "I bet you a beer that that women will jump off that building"
"Ok" replied the Blonde.
Surely enough the women did jump off the building.
"Ok you won, budwieser or miller light?" said the Blonde
then the Brunette confessed... "No you dont owe me anything, I cheated because I saw the 5:00 news earlier"
the Blonde said, "So did I but I didnt think she would do it again

Why did the blonde sleep with the Mexican?
Her teacher told her to do an Essay.

2 Blondes having lunch on a park bench one sunny day when 1 blonde goes to the other 1 "lets play a game....if you can guess how many sandwiches I have in my lunch box I will give you the both of them"