what does popeye do when he gets his nuts stuck together ? he sticks them in olive oil. Full text

WHY DO TITS HAVE NIPPLES?
BECAUSE WITH OUT THEM THEY WOULD BE POINTLESS. Full text

Two black guys are walking down the street when they see a sign on a store that says "We will turn you white for 99cents". So one guy says to the other "Hey we should try that"and the other says "I cant I only have 98cents". So his friend says "I'll go in first and give you my change and then you can go". The other agrees and waits outside, about 5 minutes later his friend comes out white as a ... Full text

Why does'nt Iraq have any Wal-Marts?
Because theres a Target in every corner! Full text

Whats the hardest part about eating vegtables?
...Putting them back into the wheelchair! Full text

A man walks into a doctor's and says "Doctor, I think I have a slight discharge." The female doctor says "Alright, pull your pants down and stand over there." The man pulls his pants down, and the doctor grabs his penis and starts massaging it gently. The bloke's head starts wobbling and he has got a big smile on his face. After five minutes of this, the doctor says, "There's no discharge ... Full text

Why is pubic hair curly?
So it doesn't poke you in the eye. Full text

What does a gay man do when he gets horny?
Shits in his hand and jerks off. Full text

A woman and a man meet at a rapid dating service.
The man sits down and says, "I've only got 3 questions."
"OK," replies the woman.
"Do you like to clean?" he asks.
"I love cleaning," she replies.
"Great. Do you like to cook for other people?"
"I love to cook," she says.
"Awesome," says the man. "OK last question, do you like sex?"
"I like it infrequently," she ... Full text

One day little red riding hood was going to go see her grandmother, So she got some cookies and some other things ready and right before she was going to leave her mother turned to her and said RED you best look out for that big bad wolf cus he'll pull up your little red skirt, pull down your little red pantys and fuck your little red socks off. Oh dear said little red riding hood, So she ... Full text

What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
a blow job with handle bars Full text

whats the diffrence between a blonde and the titanic?
you know how many people went down on the titanic Full text

how are blondes and screen doors have in common?
the more you bang them the looser they get Full text

1.You are bald for life.
2.You have a hole in the top of your head.
3.You've got two nuts living next door.
4.You've got an asshole living behind you.
5.You get shoved into a dark hole constantly.
6.Whenever you get excited, you throw up and faint.
Full text

There once was a man from Nantucket
His dick was so long he could suck it
As he wiped his chin, he said with a grin
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!
Full text

Why do women need sex?
They need someone to clear their track to piss straight. Full text

Two old ladies are having a cigarette on a park bench, when it starts to rain. One old lady pulls a condon from her bag, opens it, puts it over the end of her cigarette and calmly continues smoking. The other old lady asks what she's doing.
keeps my smokes dry' replies the 1st old lady. Next day the 2nd lady goes into a pharmacy and asks the bemused shop assistant for a pack of ... Full text

3 nuns decided to help da community nd paint a room in da community centre. they bought all the paint nd were about 2 start wen one of the nuns sed, "shudnt we take our clothes off incase we get paint on them?" they all agreed nd decided 2 paint naked. nearly finished nd der was a nok on da door. they shouted , "who is it?" the reply came, "blind man!" They thought there wud b no harm in ... Full text

what do a rubix cube and a penis have in common?
the longer you play with them, the harder they get!!!!! Full text

There once was a man named Kas
Who's balls were made of Brass
And during Stormy weather
His balls would clang together
And lightning would shoot out his ass Full text

One young guy of 20 years old is writting a letter to his dad that he wants to come back home,because he got hiv. they lived in a joint family. so the father replied that if you come back home,our maid will get hiv,if the maid get hiv then i will get hiv, if i get hiv your mom will get hiv,if your mom get hiv your uncle will get hiv.if your uncle get hiv then my brother-in-law will get hiv,if ... Full text

there was an old farmer who sat on a rick
laughing and waving his big hairy........................
fist
( plz try to get it this time u dumbasses) Full text

The little fly flew in the door-
He flew right into the grocery store,
He pissed on the cheese and shit on the ham
and wiped his ass on the grocery man.
When the grocery man saw what he had done
He loaded up his gatling gun
He chased the fly all up and down
and tried to shoot him in the brown.
But the little fly was much too slick
He showed the grocery man ... Full text

why did Michael Jackon wave his baby over the balcony?
to shake the cum off of it. Full text

What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
One goes "ribbit" the other goes "rub it".' Full text

What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator. Full text

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.
The first guy says "Wow, cool lighter...where did you get it?"
"A genie from a bottle granted me one wish."
"Great, can I try it?"
"Sure."
First guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. "You are granted one wish says the genie."
The guy says, ... Full text

Why are lesbian so lazy?
Cuz they don't do dick and always eay out. Full text

there was a black man named fred who was a hitman. one day fred had a job in a pawn shop some fuckers to this rich daughters watch and sold it back to her for 2 times its worth. on that day fred killed the man with a clock seven gun which some people know it is compatable with a suppresser. after the job was finished he took his swiss army knife and stabbed the bastard at least 27 times. after ... Full text

What's another sick thing to do?
Slap a blind person round the face and tell them, "Bet you didn't see that one coming!" grrrrrrrr Full text