Good Jokes

n case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU F@$KING IDIOT!!

Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : 'I hope she will make herself up!'

God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

At this moment i have a dejavu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!