| Jokes |
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Joke #384
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [3]
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs. Full text |
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Joke #385
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera
or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He
always makes it to Oregon before you. Full text |
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Joke #386
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
him. Pirates never were very smart. Full text |
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Joke #387
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull. Full text |
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Joke #388
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face. Full text |
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Joke #389
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. Full text |
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Joke #390
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Full text |
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Joke #391
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over. Full text |
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Joke #392
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie. Full text |
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Joke #393
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. Full text |
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Joke #394
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. Full text |
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Joke #395
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability. Full text |
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Joke #396
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC. Full text |
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Joke #397
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. Full text |
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Joke #398
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [-3]
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A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly. Full text |
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Joke #399
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face. Full text |
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Joke #400
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Full text |
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Joke #402
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [3]
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If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list. Full text |
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Joke #403
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. Full text |
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Joke #404
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never ... Full text |
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Joke #405
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Full text |
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Joke #406
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food. Full text |
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Joke #407
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. Full text |
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Joke #408
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility. Full text |
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Joke #409
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. Full text |
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Joke #410
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [3]
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Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card. Full text |
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Joke #411
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat. Full text |
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Joke #413
(Dec 21, 2006)
Rating: [0]
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Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!" Full text |
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