A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How ... Full text

A blonde walks into a department store and asks the clerk if she can buy a TV as she points toward the one she wants. The clerk replies that they don't sell those TVs to blondes. Fumed, the blonde stomps out of the store and dies her hair red. She goes back to the store and asks the clerk again and again is told the same thing. The blonde leaves again and dies her hair brown. Again the ... Full text

A blonde was walking down a street, listening to a cassette player.
A lady asks her,
"Can I listen to that?"
The blonde says yes.
The lady puts on the headphones and listens.
"Breath in, Breath out."
"Breath in, Breath out." Full text

Three blondes walk into a building.
You'd have thought one of them would have seen it. Full text

Why don't blondes like convertibles?
Their feet get sunburned. Full text

The Blonde Rancher
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase
a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last 600
dollars out west to ... Full text

What's the first thing the blonde said when she found out she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?" Full text

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine? Full text

Q: Did you hear about the three blondes that froze to death in the drive in movie theater?
A: They wanted to go see Closed For Winter. Full text

Why did the blonde have bruises in and around her belly button?
Because she had a blonde boyfriend. Full text

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde. She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket ... Full text

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7.
The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few.
'Hey, we saw what the other teams were ... Full text

A. What do you call a skeleton in a closet?
Q. The Miss Blonde Hide and Seek Championship winner of 1980! Full text

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet???
A: The 1938 Hide & Go Seek World Champion Full text

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains: "I ask you a question, ... Full text

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
Because they can't find the 11! Full text

A blonde girl walks in a curtain shop and asked for a pink curtain in the size of her computer screen. The assistant answered, "But madame computers don't have curtains....
"Helllloooooo....I've got WINDOWS!" Full text

A blonde gets a new sports car and decides to take it for a drive. She is driving along and over takes a truck. The truck signals the blonde to pull over. She asks him what's wrong and he gets a piece of chalk out of his pocket and draws a circle on the ground. He then tells her to stand in it and not move. After she does, he gets a knife out of his pocket and slashes the tyres. He turns to ... Full text

what did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
Look daddy, baby doughnuts Full text

One day, a blonde walks into a barber shop and asks for her hair to be cut. The barber says "Sure i'll cut it for you. But you cant have those earphones on." So the blonde tells the barber that she can not take them off and leaves.
Then, a few days later, the blonde walks into the same barber shop and asks for her hair to be cut. The barber tells her the same thing that he told her last ... Full text

A blind man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says, "Want to hear a really funny blond joke?" The waiter replies, "Look here, I know your blind but I have to tell you. I am blond. There are also four big men in the back of the bar. Now do you still want to tell this joke?" the blind man replies, "No! now i have to explain it five times!" Full text

What did the doctor say to the blonde who claimed "It hurts everywhere I touch"?
"Your finger's broken"
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because it said "from 2-4 years" on the box.
How did the blonde burn her ear?
She was ironing and the phone rang.
How do you get a 1 armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to ... Full text

Why are blonde jokes one liners?
answer: So the MEN can understand them! Full text

What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract a man?
Her ankles. Full text

How do you know if two blondes have been dating?
The girl has a bruised belly-button! Full text

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side. Full text

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
Because it said "Concentrate" Full text

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke. She sais, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me." ... Full text

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!" Full text

Q. how does a blond kill a pigeon?
A. Throws it off a cliff Full text