There was a man who enjoped his sex life a lot, but sometimes had problems gettin 'it' up, so he went to see his doctor, his doctor said that to help it stay up he needed to masturbate a couple of hours before sex.
The man agreed but couldnt think of any good places, he thought of the toilets but realised he may be heard, his office, but someone may walk in.
As he was driven home he thought of the perfect place, he pulled his car onto the side of the road, got out and layed out ... Full text

A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door. In walks her husband's friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband's in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I'll give it to you if you'll open your bathrobe for me." She's offended, but really needs the money so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up ... Full text