Two turd - burgler butt buddies, are getting ready for bedtime & going thru their rituals. The one, sees the other smearing vaseline aggressively onto his bare chest & says "What the hell you doing that for?" He replies.
"Silly, I was talking to one of the 'girls' & he told me that if I wanted a hairy chest that I should rub vaseline on it, - so there! " The other responds.
" You dipshit !! You know if THAT were true, you'd have a pony - tail hangin' outta yer ASSHOLE by now !! "