It was early in the afternoon and a man was loitering in front of a bar called Lacy's Legs. A police officer walks up to the man and asks him "what are you doing?" and the man replied, "I'm waiting for Lacy's Legs to open so I can get a drink." Full text

Once, a man was going away on buisness, and his wife liked a good sex now and then. So the man, just to be sure his wife would be honest, stopped by a porn shop to look for a penis sex toy. He sees a variety, but none that his wife will enjoy. When he asks the clerk, he smiles and goes down to the basement. He returns with an old hindi box. "Now this," the clerk said, "Is a voodoo penis. Watch this. Voodoo penis, the keyhole." So the penis begins to fuck the keyhole in and out. "Voodoo ... Full text