What did the doctor say to the blonde who claimed "It hurts everywhere I touch"?"Your finger's broken"Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?Because it said "from 2-4 years" on the box.How did the blonde burn her ear?She was ironing and the phone rang.How do you get a 1 armed blonde out of a tree?Wave to her.Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear? She was afraid of getting hearing AIDS.Why did the blonde sell her car?She needed gas money.Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?She kept trowing away the W's.Why did the blonde bring sandpaper on her trip to the desert?She thought it was a map.Why did the blonde ask to have her pizza cut into 6 slices instead of 12?She didn't know if she could eat 12 slices.How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash?"It was getting cold, so I turned off the ceiling fan"How do blondes brain cells die?Alone.
Melbourne Zoo in Australia had acquired a female gorilla of a very rare species. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Kevin, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Kevin, like most Kiwi men, had ... Full text
There was this geriatric woman who thought she needed some toughening to cope with today's world, and decided to join a gang. She rocked up to the Hell's Angels bikers club and tapped on the door. "Excuse me, sirs, I'd like to join your club if you please" she croaked in her feeble voice. A grunt came from inside, "Ha! You got no chance, woman. We only take the toughest into our club. You can only join if you drink!". "Oh boy, do I drink! I slam a few down every night after playing pool with ... Full text