There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
So this couple is in the dudes care makin' out. They decide to take it to the back of the car. He starts goin' down on her. A couple of seconds into it, he feels something in his mouth. He pauses and pulls it out. Its a fuckin' pea! Hes like 'whatever, I'm gonna get laid', and goes back down. A few more seconds go by and he feels something in his mouth again. Slightly irritated, he pulles it out and sees it is a carrot. Whatever man, gonna get laid, gonna get laid, he thinks. Goes ... Full text
what did the egg say to the boiling water??????how am i suppose to get hard if i just got laid 10 mins ago Full text