A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying "Ehhhh .. 22!".
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?".
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!".
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, ...   Full text

What do you call a blonde standing on her head naked?
A brunette with bad breath!

Whats the difference between a smart blonde and a U.F.O?
There has been sightings of U.F.O's

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't ...   Full text

A blonde walks into a department store and asks the clerk if she can buy a TV as she points toward the one she wants. The clerk replies that they don't sell those TVs to blondes. Fumed, the blonde stomps out of the store and dies her hair red. She goes back to the store and asks the clerk again and again is told the same thing. The blonde leaves again and dies her hair brown. Again the store clerk tells her that they don't sell those TVs to blondes. Hysterically, the blonde asks the clerk how he could tell that she is a blonde even with the hair color change. The clerk replies," Ma'm, that's a microwave."

A blonde was walking down a street, listening to a cassette player.
A lady asks her,
"Can I listen to that?"
The blonde says yes.
The lady puts on the headphones and listens.
"Breath in, Breath out."
"Breath in, Breath out."

Three blondes walk into a building.
You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

Why don't blondes like convertibles?
Their feet get sunburned.

The Blonde Rancher
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase
a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last 600
dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy
the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." the
brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she
does want to buy ...   Full text

What's the first thing the blonde said when she found out she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?

Q: Did you hear about the three blondes that froze to death in the drive in movie theater?
A: They wanted to go see Closed For Winter.

Why did the blonde have bruises in and around her belly button?
Because she had a blonde boyfriend.

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde. She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note, "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7.
The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few.
'Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Theirs were still sticking out of the ground!'

A. What do you call a skeleton in a closet?
Q. The Miss Blonde Hide and Seek Championship winner of 1980!

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet???
A: The 1938 Hide & Go Seek World Champion

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50" figuring that since she is a ...   Full text

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
Because they can't find the 11!

A blonde girl walks in a curtain shop and asked for a pink curtain in the size of her computer screen. The assistant answered, "But madame computers don't have curtains....
"Helllloooooo....I've got WINDOWS!"

A blonde gets a new sports car and decides to take it for a drive. She is driving along and over takes a truck. The truck signals the blonde to pull over. She asks him what's wrong and he gets a piece of chalk out of his pocket and draws a circle on the ground. He then tells her to stand in it and not move. After she does, he gets a knife out of his pocket and slashes the tyres. He turns to the blonde and shes really laughing. He then says, "if you think that's funny watch this." He pulls a baseball bat out of his truck and smashed up the brand new car. At this point the blonde is on the floor laughing her head off. Frustrated he asks her what she's laughing at. She replies "I just ...   Full text

what did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
Look daddy, baby doughnuts

One day, a blonde walks into a barber shop and asks for her hair to be cut. The barber says "Sure i'll cut it for you. But you cant have those earphones on." So the blonde tells the barber that she can not take them off and leaves.
Then, a few days later, the blonde walks into the same barber shop and asks for her hair to be cut. The barber tells her the same thing that he told her last time, so she storms out of the shop once again.
Then, for a last and final time, the blonde walks into the barber shop and asks for her hair to be cut. The barber, furious at this point, snatches her earphones off and goes into the back, to get his scisors. When he comes back, the blonde is dead ...   Full text

A blind man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says, "Want to hear a really funny blond joke?" The waiter replies, "Look here, I know your blind but I have to tell you. I am blond. There are also four big men in the back of the bar. Now do you still want to tell this joke?" the blind man replies, "No! now i have to explain it five times!"

What did the doctor say to the blonde who claimed "It hurts everywhere I touch"?
"Your finger's broken"
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because it said "from 2-4 years" on the box.
How did the blonde burn her ear?
She was ironing and the phone rang.
How do you get a 1 armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear?
She was afraid of getting hearing AIDS.
Why did the blonde sell her car?
She needed gas money.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept trowing away the W's.
Why did the blonde bring sandpaper on her trip to the ...   Full text

Why are blonde jokes one liners?
answer: So the MEN can understand them!

What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract a man?
Her ankles.

How do you know if two blondes have been dating?
The girl has a bruised belly-button!

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
Because it said "Concentrate"