And beautiful women, we are left for male without fantasy Full text

Statistics show that for every male over 85 years old accounted for 7 women. But, it's too late! Full text

- Interestingly, a mosquito can be infected with AIDS?
- You shortage of women? Full text

- What would you say to woman who lost a hands and legs?
- Good tits! Full text

A man went to have plastic surgery on his penis.
The surgeon examined him and asked, "What happened?"

"Well, doc, I live in a trailer camp," the man explained, "And from where I am I can see this lovely chick next door. She's blonde and built like a brick shithouse. She's so horny that every night I see her take a hot dog from the refrigerator and stick it in a hole in the ... Full text

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off
his
clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by
him
and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his
erection,
comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob
replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: ... Full text

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting
at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his
wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting here
at this breakfast table together."
"Hmmm," the old man said, "We were probably sitting ... Full text

After working together for some time Dick and Jane's office
romance blossomed, and they really developed the 'hots' for each
other.

One day, they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet
to consummate their lust.

Dick finds Jane very difficult to 'enter', but finally succeeds.

When they are finished, Dick says to Jane, "If I ... Full text

An older man had met a younger woman, but unfortunately he was unable to
last very long before he would orgasm during sex. A caring man, he was
concerned that he was disappointing his new lover,so he called his doctor
for advice.
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last
longer
during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll ... Full text

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed on the other side of the room. The convict got on the bed and it appeared to the husband that he may have ... Full text

One day a little indian boy walked up to the chief and said "Me ready for women."
The chief said "Before you can have a real women, you must go into the woods and practice on the trees for three days"

The Indian boy said "Ok," and went off into the woods.

Three days later, he returns and says "Me ready for women."

The Indian cheif says "Pick out ... Full text

There was this guy who really took care of his body and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and admired his body and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis, which he readily decided to do something about it.
He went to the beach, completely undressed, buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking ... Full text

On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs.
The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a ... Full text

A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here forty years ago."

The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and he immediately jumped her ... Full text

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking
about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if
they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen
bring up the subject of sex.
"Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much ... Full text

Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable.
Father (F) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!

S : Why do women enjoy sex more than man
F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.

S: Why do women hate it when they get raped .
F: It is like when you are walking ... Full text

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, ... Full text

A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the most beautiful woman he has ever seen boarding the plane. He is nervous, and soon realizes that she is walking down the aisle toward him. When she takes the seat right next to him, he is anxious to begin a conversation. He asks, "Where are you flying to today?"

She responds, "To the Annual Nymphomaniac ... Full text

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the ... Full text

A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee."

Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge."

She nods agreement and ... Full text

These three teenage girls were roommates. One Friday night right after the semester started they all had all gone out on dates, and by chance all came home at about the same time.

The first one came in and said with a smug look on her face, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up."

The second one laughed at her and said, ... Full text

Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."

She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it."

They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. ... Full text

Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping. The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"

Then the first guy turns around and says, " Hey Paul, shut up!"

Then two women come out and start stripping. Paul, once again, starts, "Yeah baby..mmmm....yeah!"

Once again the guy in front ... Full text

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, ... Full text

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She ... Full text

This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy!" she said.

"Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you."

"Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, ... Full text

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
Full text

A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies.
"What's wrong with you?" The barman says.
"In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies.
"We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park.
He has been in the car with the woman ... Full text

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the ... Full text

A guy goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious that his wife has the hump with him. He asks what is the matter. She replies, "Last night you were talking in your sleep and I want to know who Linda is?" Thinking quickly on his feet he tells her that Linda was 'Lucky Linda' and was actually a name of a horse that he bet on that day and won £40. She seemed quite happy with the ... Full text