A middle aged woman went shopping one day for a birthday present for her husband. Since their sex life had been less than satisfactory for several years, see wanted to get something to spice it up.
She went through store after store in the mall, but could find nothing she wanted. She sat down on a bench and broke out into tears.
After a few minutes she looked up and noticed that she was sitting in front of a pet shop. To pick up her spirits, she decided to go in and see the puppies and kittens. She wandered around the shop for fifteen minutes and felt better. On the way out a clerk saw her and said "Did you see anything you liked, ma'am?"
The lady explained to the clerk that she was searching for that perfect present for her husband.
The clerk said "wait right her, I think I have the perfect gift for your husband." She went to the back room and came back with a beautiful teak box.
She opened the box and showed her a frog. The lady said "I don't think my husband wants a frog."
The clerk told her this was a speacial kind of frog found only in the deepest forest jungles of South America..it only purpose in life was to give oral pleasure to men.
She said all the man had to do was say "FROGGIE SUCK" and the frog would do so. The woman had always been adverse to giving her husband oral pleasure and was quite intriged by the idea. She asked the clerk how much.
The clerk replied "500 dollars". The woman did not want to pay that much, but the clerk offered a money-back guarantee, so she bought it.
That evening, after a gourmet dinner and the finest wine and liquers, the wife presented her husband with his present. He opened the box and exclaimed "What the hell is this??"
The wife explained what the frog could do so her husband calmed down and said it might be a good idea after all.
They retired to their bedroom.
After ten minutes the husband could't wait any longer, so he yelled :FROGGIE SUCK". The frog jumped out of the box and onto the bed and gave the man the best blowjob he had ever had in his life! Fifteen minutes later the man yelled out again with the same result. His wife was pleased so she told him to take the frog to the guest bedroom so she could get some sleep.
About 5 AM she awoke and heard pots and pans clanking in the kitchen. She said "Honey why are you making so much noise down there?"
Her husband replied "As soon as I can teach this frog to cook, we're getting the hell out of here!