"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Next time, take off the candles."
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?" "Yes, of course..." "Great! I never could before!" Full text
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" Full text