Q: Did you hear about the flag's birthday? A: It was a flappy one!
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone." Full text
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. Full text