It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds.

That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards. Full text

My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people's birthdays. She says she doesn't think people would like margarine as a present. Full text

My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes - but where can you find a bloodshot tie? Full text

When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older. Full text

Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: "Hey, what's eating you?" Full text

Q: Did you hear about the flag's birthday?
A: It was a flappy one! Full text

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Next time, take off the candles." Full text

Q: What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
A: "Happy Birthday To Gnu!" Full text

Q: What do you give nin-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it! Full text

Q: Why did the wife not put birthday candles on her husband's birthday cake?
A: It was not that she did not want to make him feel old, she wanted to save the environment. Full text

Q: What do birthday candles and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
A: They get blown out on the same day every year. Full text

A fellow was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way that she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."

So the ... Full text

Brunette: When's your birthday?
Blonde: June 23rd. What about you?
Brunette: December 25.
Blonde: Oh my god your so lucky your birthday is on Easter! Full text

Brunette: Today is my niece's birthday. Do you wanna come to her party?
Blonde: What day is today?
Brunette: January 11.
Blonde: Oh I'm sorry for your niece.
Brunette: What, why?
Blonde: Since her birthday is in January, she has to wait a whole year til her next birthday. Full text

man1:'' I got my wife a vcp''
man2:''Don't you mean a vcr"?
man1:"No, a vcp..... very cheap present! Full text

A middle aged woman went shopping one day for a birthday present for her husband. Since their sex life had been less than satisfactory for several years, see wanted to get something to spice it up.
She went through store after store in the mall, but could find nothing she wanted. She sat down on a bench and broke out into tears.
After a few minutes she looked up and noticed that ... Full text

3 gurls wanted a 1 guy each for their b-day so the mom got them wut they wanted
she went to the first room heared giggling, knocked on the door " why are u giggling?" the gurl replied " cause it tickles"
went to the 2 room heared crying,knocked, asked " why are u crying?"
the gurl replied " cause it hurts"
went to the 3 room heared nothing, knocked, asked "why is it so ... Full text

There was a rich guy and a poor guy, the poor guy asks the rich guy "so what did you get your wife for her birthday?" the rich guy replies "a ferrari and a mercedes, so when she wants to feel rich she can drive the ferrari and when she wants to feel important she can drive the mercedes. What did you get your wife" the poor guy replies " I got her a pair of mocasins and a vibrater" the rich ... Full text