A blonde, brunette, and redhead are hanging out on a limb of a cliff.
As the limg begins to give away the brunette say, "One of us is going to have to let go or we will all die."
The redhead gives a long impressive speech about how she has lived the most and that she will be the one to let go.
The blonde is so impressed that she starts clapping! Full text

Q. How are blondes and turtles alike?
A. When they're on their backs they're both screwed. Full text