You might be a redneck if...
Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
You've ever hitchhiked naked.
You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Your wife ... Full text

You might be a redneck if...
You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
You ... Full text