Blonde jokes

Q-Why do blondes keep empty milk cartons in the fridge? A-In case any of her house visitors want black coffee!

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all entered a swimming contest, 2 swim frm Santa Monica 2 Catalina doing the breaststroke.
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About 14 hours later the redhead staggered on 2 the shore, she woz declared the fastest breaststroker. Bout 40 mins l8r the brunette crawled on shore, n declared the 2nd place finisher.
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4 hours after this the blonde finally came a shore n collapsed in front of worried onlookers..........when a reporter asked her y it took so long 4 her 2 complete the race she replied "i don't wanna sound like ...   Full text

There was a blonde and a brunette and they walked into a bar, sat down and started to watch the 7:00 news.
The Brunette said "I bet you a beer that that women will jump off that building"
"Ok" replied the Blonde.
Surely enough the women did jump off the building.
"Ok you won, budwieser or miller light?" said the Blonde
then the Brunette confessed... "No you dont owe me anything, I cheated because I saw the 5:00 news earlier"
the Blonde said, "So did I but I didnt think she would do it again

Why did the blonde sleep with the Mexican?
Her teacher told her to do an Essay.

2 Blondes having lunch on a park bench one sunny day when 1 blonde goes to the other 1 "lets play a game....if you can guess how many sandwiches I have in my lunch box I will give you the both of them"

What does the blonde say when the doctor says she's pregnant.
"Is it mine?"

whats the difference between a blonde and a 1st grade teacher?about 150 iq points

whats the differrence between a smart blonde and bigfoot? big foot has actually been spotted

santa clause,the tooth fairy,a smart blonde and a dumb blonde are walking and see a 10 dollar bill.who picks it up first?the dumb blonde because the tooth fairy,santa clause and a smart blonde arent real.

what do you call 15 blondes in a circle?a dope ring

whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
when you slap the mosquito it stops sucking!

Two Blondes Walk Into A Bar .U Think One Of Them Would Of Seen It

What do you call a naked blonde performing a handstand?
A brunette!

There was a smart blonde, a dumb blonde, and santa clause staring at a five dollar bill that had fallen on the ground... who ended up with the bill?
The dumb blonde cuz theres no such thing as a smart blonde or santa!

THREE women were walking on a beach one day a black woman, a chinese woman and a white woman, the blonde of course, the three were just strolling, laughing and talkin wen suddenly they saw a magic lamp in the sand, a genie appeared and said i'll grant u each one wish after im finished talkin, so say it now or leave me be.....the black woman said i want a strong black man with lots of money, she disappeared and got her wish, the chinese woman said, i want a chinese triad empire where i rule tokyo, she disappered and got her wish...., the blonde was now walkin on the beach wondering what the hell could she wish for.......while walkin she hit her foot on a huge rock and said, OH SHIT!!!, ...   Full text

THREE MEN, a black man, a chinese man, and a white man, the blonde of course, were locked up in prison for doing heinous crimes and were about to be executed, they had three means of execution to choose from, to be hanged, to be shot, or to be injected with the aids virus and die slowly and painfully, the black man being first chose to be shot in the head, the chinese man wanted an open casket funeral, chose to be hanged, the blonde now, thinking that he's smarter than them all chose to be injected with the aids virus, after being injected he was laughing non stop, and seemed very happy, the warden, curious as to why the blonde man was laughing so hard, asked him, why are u laughing and ...   Full text

What do you call a bunch of pissed off blondes?
Frosted Flakes

A blind man walk into a bar 1 night, orders a drink and says to the person next to him, "hey, would you like 2 hear a blonde joke?" the woman next to him says "listen mate i am a gold medal weight lifting champion, and im blonde, my friend over there is a martial arts 2 time silver medalist, and shes a blonde, and my sister bside me is a 3 time bronze medalist at kickboxing, now do u still want to tell tht blonde joke ?" the man pauses for a second, then finally says "ok but i am not explaining it three times !"

two blondes were walking along when the first blonde saw some tracks. she said i think these are deer tracks. the second blonde replies with no these are definitely bear tracks. the two blondes continue to argue when they get hit by a train.

Why did the blonde have a bruised belly button?-------------------------------------------She had a blonde boyfriend!

Q: If you throw a blonde and a brunette off a building, who will reach the ground first?
A: The brunette.
Q: Why?
A: Because the blonde had to stop to ask for directions.
Q: After a while, she still doesn't reach the ground. Why?
A: Oh, she lost her way.

Q. Three girls walked into a bar. The first girl went to the counter and asked for a wine, so the bar attendent gave her a wine. The second girl went to the counter and asked for a cocktail, so the bar attendent gave her a cocktail. The thirl girl walked up to the counter and asked for a v.b, so the bar attendent gave her a v.b.Which girl is really dumb?
A. The girl who asked for a v.b because v.b stands for vertially blond!!

What did the blode say when she found out she was pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?

What does an airplane and a blonde have in common? They both have a black box.

a car broke down in the middle of the desert with three women inside. A red head, brunette and a blonde. They all decided that they have to go out to find help. doing this they all decided to take something with them. the red head asks the brunette what she was taken and the brunette said "some water just incase we get thirsty". The brunette asks the red head the same question and she replys i brought some found just incase we get hungry. They both turn round and looked at the blonde and said "what are you taking" the blonde replys " im taking the car door so if we get hot we can wide down the window"

How can u tell if a blonde has been in your fridge?
there's lipstick on the cucumber

A BLONDE IZ DRIVING IN HER CAR AND SHES SWERVING ALL OVER THE PLACE SO A POLICEMAN PULLS HER OVER AND HE SAYS Y R U SWERVING SHE SAYS IM GONNA HIT A TREE SO THE POLICEMAN SAYS NO THAT UR AIR FREASHNER

A brunette a redhead and a blond are sitting at the table drinking coffee. The brunette starts a conversation by saying that she went into her 15 your old daughters room and found a pack of cigarettes.
And says, I had no idea she smoked.
The redhead says. That's nothing. I went into my daughters' room last night and I found a bottle of Vodka.
I had no idea that she drank.
The blond says. Well, I went into my daughters' room and I found a pack of condoms. And I had no idea that she had a dick.

Why does Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken comes in a seperate box!

What does a Blonde and Spagetti have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat em'