How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
10 - 1 to make the dough and 9 to peel the M&M's.
How many blondes does it take to fix in a lightbulb?
10 - 1 to hold the bulb and 9 to rotate the ceiling! Full text

One day a blonde is driving home when she rear-ends a man in his truck. The man stops and yells at her to get out of her car, so she steps out and tries to apologize. He then draws a circle in the sand and tells her to stand inside and not to step out. He goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, walks over to her car, and smashes in the window.
She begins to giggle, so he looks back at ... Full text

A blonde walks into a library and shouts, "CAN I HAVE A CHEESE BURGER AND CHIPS?!?"
The librarian replies, "This is a library."
"Sorry," the blonde whispers in a barely audible voice, "can I have a cheese burger and chips?" Full text

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.
The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to ... Full text

There were 3 girls, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. There was this magic mirror, and if you said a lie in front of it, you would disappear.
The redhead went up to it and said "I am the prettiest girl in the world" Poof, she disappeared.
The brunette went up to the mirror and said "I think I am the prettiest girl in the world" Poof, she disappeared.
The blonde went up to the ... Full text

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M company?
Because she threw away all the Ws. Full text

Q. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A. Because it kept falling out Full text

A blonde woman is speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and is pulled over by a female police officer who is also a blonde. The
blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She digs through her purse and gets progressively more agitated.
"What does the license look like?" she finally asks
The policewoman replies, "It's square and it has your ... Full text

A man and a blonde were having sex. The guy asks the blonde, "Was I the first guy to ever have sex with you?"
The blonde replies, "I don't know. Your face looks familiar." Full text

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with ... Full text

... 80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention".

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds ... Full text

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond going to London on a ... Full text

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q: How do you kill the blonde's sister?
A: Tell her to go down to the bottom of the pool and do CPR. Full text

A young man just got a new job as a ventriloquist. He was to do a comedy act at a local bar. With a dummy sitting on his lap the young man started his act. He started telling the audience dumb blonde jokes.
In the middle of a sentence a blonde stood up and hollered, "It's people like YOU who discriminate against people like me! Does the colour of one's hair prove anything? Does it ... Full text

There was a blonde who was so dumb that she
a) locked herself in a restroom and wet her pants
b) got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
c) tripped over a cordless phone
d) tried to put m & m's in alphabetical order Full text

Question: "What did the blonde's right leg say to the blonde's left leg?"
Answer: "I don't know. They have never met." Full text

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retreiver Full text

A blonde and a brunette are in a car and the blonde is driving. The blonde is going 70+ mph and the speed limit is 60. The brunette says, "Be careful. A cop can pull you over if your speeding!" The blonde slows down, but only to about 65 mph. A little while later, the blonde says, "Uh-oh, there's a cop behind us." The Brunette says, "Is he after us?" The blonde says, "I don't know." The ... Full text

What is the difference between the Titanic and a blonde?
People know how many men went down on the Titanic! Full text

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None they only screw in a bed. Full text

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a ... Full text

How did the Blonde die raking leaves?
She fell out of a tree Full text

Two blondes walked into a building the other day...
you would have thought that at least one of them would have seen it!! Full text

Why was the blonde's belly button sore? Because her boyfriend was a blonde as well. Full text

Two tourists were driving through Wales.
At the little village of
Llanfairpwllgwyngllgogerychwryndrobwllyantsllyogogogoch
they stopped for lunch and one tourist asked the waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde waitress leaned over and said, "Burrr-gurrr-Kinngg..." Full text

How do you change a blonde's mind?
You blow in her ear! Full text

Why did the blonde go up on the roof?
She was told that drinks were on the house! Full text

A blonde and a brunette are driving in a car down a freeway.
The brunette sees a police car in the rear view mirror.
She asks the blonde to turn around and see if the police cars' lights are on.
The blonde turns around and replys "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no." Full text

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all went into the ObGyn office together. When they met after their check-ups, the redhead was smilling, and the brunette asked her why. "I'm going to have a baby boy," the redhead replied.
"How do you know?" asked the blonde.
"Because I was on top."
This got the brunette thinking, and she smiled as well. "I'm having a girl!" she exclaimed. Again ... Full text

A blonde walked up to a coke machine, put in a dollar, and got out a coke. She then put in another dollar, and got another coke. Again and again, she put in more and more dollars and got out more and more cokes.
As she was doing this, a man came and stood behind her. he tapped her on her shoulder, and said "What on earth are you doing?"
She replied angrily " Shut up! Cant you see im ... Full text