There were three construction workers, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. One day when they were eating lunch, the red head said, "I hope I don't get a turkey sandwich." and sure enough, he gets a turkey sandwich. Then he says, "If I get another turkey sandwich, I am going to kill myself." Then the brunette opens his lunch and says,"I hope I don't get a roast beef sandwich." and sure ... Full text

One day a blond was driving down the street. As she was going along she spotted another blond sitting in a row boat out in the middle of a field. She was so angry she slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the car and screamed at the top of her lungs, "You stupid idiot! It's dumb blonds like you that give smart blonds like me a bad name. I have half a mind to swim out there and kick your butt!" Full text

why do blondes like cars with adjustable steering wheels?
they like more head room. Full text

Two blondes and a brunette are trapped on an island. The first blonde swims from the island to the mainland. The second blonde builds a boat from palm trees and rows to the mainland. The brunette, however, uses the bridge. Full text

There are 13 blondes and a brunette hanging on a rope off Mount Everest. The rope is about to snap until a blonde says,"One of us has to let go for the rest of us to survive! Or else we'll all die!" So the 13 blondes start arguing and start saying "you jump off!" "No you jump off!" So finally the brunette says,"Fine... I'll let go for the rest of you to live and make it up this mountain." A ... Full text

Q:How do you confuse a blonde?
A:Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. Full text

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a ... Full text

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell, because she's got the grenade in her mouth! Full text

A blonde in the depths of Louisiana wanted a pair of alligator skin boots,but did not want to pay the high prices that were asked.After one particularly high priced pair,the blonde shouted "Well maybe I'll just go and kill an alligator and get a pair of shoes myself!!"
The shopkeeper replied "Go for it.Good Luck!!"
After work one day the same shopkeeper was walking along the Louisiana ... Full text

One day there was a brunette on the side of the road jumping up and down saying "88! 88!"
So later that day, a blonde pulls over by the brunette and decides that it looks like fun, so they both start jumping and saying 88!
After a while, the brunette explains to the blonde that it's even more fun to jump in the middle of the road and yell out 88 so she does and gets hit by a car. The ... Full text

What does a blonde owl say?
What, what? Full text

How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool. Full text

There was a blonde and a brunette were walking down the sidewalk. the brunette says "Hey look a dead bird." The blonde look up and says "Where,where?" Full text

There is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they are all in grade 3. Which one is hottest?
The blonde because she is 18. Full text

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's ... Full text

A brunette, a red head, and a blond each got to bring one thing to the desert.The brunette brought food because she might get hungry, the red head brought water because she might get thirsty, and the blond brought a car door because if it gets hot she can roll down the window! Full text

A blond ran into the hospital screaming. A doctor came running to her aid. To his surprise her ears were badly burnt and red.
"What happened?" he asked,
"I was ironing my shirt and the phone rang, thinking the iron was the phone I put it to my ear," she replied.
"Oh no, but what happened to your other ear?" he asked.
She frowned and replied
"The jerk rang back!" Full text

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette says, "My baby's going to be a boy." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The brunette says, "Because when we did it, my husband was on top."
The red head then says, "My baby's going to be a girl." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The red head says, "Because when we did it, I was on ... Full text

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse
immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic
pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs
for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to
throw her ... Full text

A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you ... Full text

When does a blonde have two brain cells?
When's she's pregnent! Full text

What happened to the blonde coyote that got caught in a trap?
It chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Full text

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.
Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.
Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his ... Full text

There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after ... Full text

How is a blonde like a bottle of beer?
They're both empty from the neck up. Full text

Blonde Jokes
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions!
Q : How do you really confuse a blonde?
A : Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!
Q: Why is it okay for ... Full text

A brunette goes to see the doctor. "What's the trouble?" he asks her. She tells him, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." "Show me," the doctor says. She touches her elbow and says "Ouch", she touches her knee and says "Ouch", she touches her head and says "Ouch! See Doctor! Everywhere I touch, it hurts!" The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, surprised, "Why no! ... Full text

Why was the blondes belly button bruised? Her boyfriend is blonde. Full text

Why was the blonde standing in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to know what she looked like sleeping. Full text

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and through it right back. Full text