A blonde, Brunnette and a red head were all stuck on an Island...They found a magic lamp. They all rubbed it at the same time, and a genie popped out.
The Genie said " I will grant you each 1 wish"
The Brunnette said " I wish I was back at home, in my nice warm house"
*POOF* she was gone
The Redhead said " I wish I was back at home, in my nice warm house"
*POOF* she was gone
Then the Blonde said " Damn....this is hard to decide...I wish my friends were here to help me deside"

Whats the difference between a blonde and a frig?
A frig doesnt fart when you take the meat out.....

How did the blonde get her head stuck in the steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn.

why did the blonde sniff sweetenlow/
she thouht it was diet coke

there is husband and wife anf the wife is blonde.and they wanted to have sex. so they went into the room and turned off the lights and bout 25 minutes later the blonde woman comes out and says man my bellybutton hurts. why does her bellybutton hurt? her husband is a blonde too.

A blonde woman who has been told about blue movies, decides she will watch one.
So she goes to the video store and get's a video.
When she get's home, she insert's the video into the player, but it doesn't work.
So she rings the video store and tells the lady that it doesn't work.
The lady ask's her "what is the title of the video"
To which the blonde replies "Head Cleaner".

There was a blonde that had signed up for the WALKathon. One day she went outside to get her mail and read all the junk, bills, letters, ect. She came across a letter from the WALKathon. She opened it up and started reading. The letter wrote, "Dear, Walker." "Walker?" the blonde questioned, "My name isn't walker."

Q:how do mammals smell things
the blonde answered by it toungue

a blonde and a brunette jump off the bridge who getts to the bottom first
the brunnete because the blonde asked for directions

There is this blonde and she goes into the store and says can i buy that tv
and the lady says no we dont sale to blondes, so she leaves and then she
dies her hair brown, she goes back into the store and says can i buy that tv
and the lady said no we dont sale to blondes she said "how do you know
im a blonde". And the store lady said"Because thats not a tv its a
microwave.

What is a blonde's favorite nersury rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme

A blonde walks into a telegraph office to send an emergency telegram to her mom overseas.
The man at the counter says "That'll be $150."
The blonde says, "Oh no! I don't have that much but this is very important - I'll do Anything to send a telegram to my mom."
The man says, "Anything??"
Yes, she says.
So, he says come back here to the back room.
So she does.
Now, get on your knees.
She does.
Now, pull it out.
She does.
Now hold it in your hand.
So she does.
Now Go For It Baby!
And so she yells as loud as she can, "Hello MOM?!?!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train.

this blondes boyfriend was in the drive way and the blonde came runing out and she started jumping up and down like 10 times and he said what are u so happy about and she said we are haveing a baby and he said kool and she said we are having twins and he said how do u know she said i took 2 pregency and they said that i was pregnet... lol

Why do blondes have T.G.I.F on their shoes?
Answer: Toes Go In First

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, 'I'll take that bet!'
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed.
The redhead said 'I can't take this, you're my friend.'
The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'.
So the redhead said 'Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money'.
The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!'

How come blondes can't dial 911? Cause they don't know the number!

A policeman pulls over a red convertible for speeding, and driving the car is a beautiful, buxom blonde in skimpy clothes. The policeman asks her for her license, but the blonde looks around her car and purse for it and can't find it anywhere. So the cop asks her for her insurance papers, and she looks and can't find those either.
The policeman tells the blonde to stay put while he goes back to his car. The policeman then calls up his sergeant and says, "Look, boss, I've got a beautiful blonde here..."
His sergeant listens to the story, then replies, "Okay, here's what you do. Just go over to her car and pull down your pants."
"What?" the officer exclaims. "I can't do ...   Full text

Why the blonde run accross the cracker box?
Because it said tear along the dotted line!

What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
"Humpme Dumpme."

Give her a bag of m&ms and tell her to alphabetize them!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were out sailing and got shipwrecked on an island 100 miles from shore. The brunette circles the island and finds a bridge. She walks to shore. The red head flags down a boat and hitches a ride. The blonde didn't know what to do so she swam. 50 miles out she got too tired and said ''I'm to tired to finish.'' she turned around and swam 50 miles back.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to ...   Full text

A blonde was suspecting her husband was cheating on her. So one day, she decided to go home early. She opens the door and sees her husband all over another girl. The blonde pulls her gun out of her purse and points it to her head. The husband says, "No! Don't do that! I'm sorry!" The blonde replys, "Shut up. You're next."

This blond was driving on the highway and there was a trucker in front of her. She had to get into the lane that the trucker was in and she cut him off. The trucker decided she had been on the highway to long and told her to pull off to the side. The blond did this and waited until the trucker got out of his truck. He got out of his truck carrying his pocket knife. He told her to get out of her car and she did this. He ran back to his truck and grabbed a piece of chalk. Then he drew a circle and told her to stay in it. He got into her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around and looked at the blond she was laughing. He was furious, so he turned took his knife and cut out ...   Full text

How do you kill a blonde?
You put a scrach and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
10 - 1 to make the dough and 9 to peel the M&M's.
How many blondes does it take to fix in a lightbulb?
10 - 1 to hold the bulb and 9 to rotate the ceiling!

One day a blonde is driving home when she rear-ends a man in his truck. The man stops and yells at her to get out of her car, so she steps out and tries to apologize. He then draws a circle in the sand and tells her to stand inside and not to step out. He goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, walks over to her car, and smashes in the window.
She begins to giggle, so he looks back at her angrily and tells her to be quiet. Then he starts beating in the hood of her car.
She giggles again, and he turns to her and says, "You're askin' for it, lady!" Then he smashes in her windshield.
By this time the woman is laughing hysterically, so he looks at her and yells, "What's so ...   Full text

A blonde walks into a library and shouts, "CAN I HAVE A CHEESE BURGER AND CHIPS?!?"
The librarian replies, "This is a library."
"Sorry," the blonde whispers in a barely audible voice, "can I have a cheese burger and chips?"

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.
The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body."
The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss," he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, ...   Full text