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Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes #2182   Rating: [127]

Whenever Chuck Norris looks in a mirror it breaks. Because not even glass is dumb enough to stand between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Jokes #2181   Rating: [2]

When Chuck norris steps in a puddle, he doesn't get wet. The puddle gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Jokes #2119   Rating: [1]

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot 20 rounds, he shoots 1 round 20 times

Chuck Norris Jokes #2118   Rating: [-2]

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands when he came back they were just called the Islands

Chuck Norris Jokes #2116   Rating: [3]

Chuk Norris is not God, because God admires him.

Chuck Norris Jokes #2115   Rating: [3]

There is a new "Find Chuck" book. His face is in the middle of everypage, but you don't dare find him, out of sheer terror os being round house kicked in the face.

Chuck Norris Jokes #2114   Rating: [0]

My wife doesn't fuss at me anymore, because she was looking thru my phone and saw CHUCK NORRIS'S number in my contacts!

Chuck Norris Jokes #2098   Rating: [0]

Chuck norris ate a box of sleeping pills but it only made him blink

Chuck Norris Jokes #2097   Rating: [1]

If Steven Segal fought a bear he would walk up and snap his neck, if it was Rambo he would cut it in half, if it was Chuck Norris the bear would know better.

Chuck Norris Jokes #415   Rating: [7]

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris Jokes #416   Rating: [2]

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris Jokes #417   Rating: [1]

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris Jokes #418   Rating: [1]

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

Chuck Norris Jokes #419   Rating: [4]

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris Jokes #359   Rating: [5]

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris Jokes #360   Rating: [5]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris Jokes #361   Rating: [2]

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris Jokes #362   Rating: [2]

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris Jokes #363   Rating: [0]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris Jokes #364   Rating: [2]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris Jokes #365   Rating: [4]

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris Jokes #366   Rating: [0]

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Jokes #367   Rating: [1]

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris Jokes #368   Rating: [2]

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris Jokes #369   Rating: [2]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris Jokes #370   Rating: [9]

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris Jokes #371   Rating: [2]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris Jokes #372   Rating: [3]

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris Jokes #373   Rating: [15]

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris Jokes #374   Rating: [5]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

I think that you have seen a numerous Chuck Norris jokes and Chuck Norris facts while browsing online. You know who we are talking about this is a tough guy, who is known by you from the films of Bruce Lee. Telling Chuck Norris jokes is the most fun way to begin a conversation with an interesting person. Laughter is the best cure for boredom. There are a variety of Chuck Norris jokes to make someone laughing and in your arsenal should be a couple of them. These funniest and cleanest jokes are very popular in the global network, and especially among English-speaking people. Find some of these funny jokes and you will understand the sense of them. For example: Chuck Norris was born in secret from his parents. No one saw Chuck Norris in his childhood, except his toys.

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