A man has an appointment at the dentist's.
Dentist: have you been sucking pussy sir?
Man: how can you tell, is it my bad breadth?
Dentist: no, the hair between your teeth. Full text

little johnnys walkin down the street one day and an old man stops him and says "where you goin lil' johnny?" johnny replies, "i'm going to the pond". whatcha got under your arm. "i got a sack, im gonna catch some ducks" says johnny. the old man says, "you cant catch no ducks with a sack, get out of here johnny" a few hours later johnny comes back with a sack full of ducks. next day lil' ... Full text

Fuck is good fuck is funny ,lots of people fuck 4 money.If u think that fuck is funny . Then fuck yourself & save your money. Full text

How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
-paint its balls red.
How did tarzan die?
-pickin cherries
lol you do the math Full text

a man runs into the doctors office he says "doctro i just been fucked by an elephant" the doc says "show me" he pulls his pants down and his asshole is huge.
the doc goes"man even if he fucked you ur asshole wouldnt be this big"
the man goes "i know doctor he fingered me first" Full text

One night a man got drunk and walked home from the bar and passed out in bed right next to his wife and went into a dream he had a dream that he went to heaven and he was at the gates into heaven and she saw a line with saint peter there and walked up and said am i in heaven saint peter replied yes your in heaven the drunk man replied how did i die saint peter said umm hold on wait a little ... Full text

FUCK OFF
Fuck every thing you've ever said
Fuck every thing you've put in my head
Fuck the trip that you've been on
Fuck every place that your ass has gone
Fuck all the different ways you lie
Fuck all your lame excuses why
Fuck every one who cares for you
Fuck every Fucking Punk you do !!!
Fuck his car....Fuck his truck
Fuck that ... Full text

Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla,
'How do you spell 'dumb'?" Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." She
responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell 'stupid'." Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." Darla
says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the ... Full text

A judge has to convict two drug addicts but it is late on a friday and he can't be bothered. So he says to them 'listen guys i can't be arsed so if you come back on monday having got some other people off drugs ill let you off.' The two drug addicts nod and leave.
On monday the judge asks the first guy 'how many people did you get off drugs' and the guy says '4 sir' the judge asks him how ... Full text

three generations of prostitutes are discussing current financial conditions of their industry. the youngest one says "I can't believe I only get $20 for a blow job."
her mama says "girl, when I was your age I could barely get $5 for a blow job."
Grandma says, "when I was your age, we would give blow jobs for free just to have something warm in our stomach." Full text

Little Martin is four years old.
One day while he was pestering his mother, she said " Why dont you go across the street and watch the builders work, maybe you will learn some thing."
Martin was gone for abot two hours. When he came home his Mother asked him what he learned. martin replied.....
"Well first you put the fucking door up. Then the son of a ... Full text

A Frenchman was on trial for rape, standing in court, the judge says tell me
what happened. The frenchman says well, she took offa her shirt, I took offa
my shirt. She took offa her pants, I took offa my pants.
The judge says, well that sounds like consent.
The frenchman says,Consent! Your honor, I got cunt scent on my mustache,
Cunt scent ona my fingas..... Full text

One day this woman asked her husband when he was going to take her coon huntin, well he told she didn't need to go but she kept on insisting so he said she could go only if she dressed up like a man. She said ok no problem. Well that night she got ready and tucked her up under hat and she looked like a man. Well they turn the dogs loose and they get treed on down through a holler. All the guys ... Full text

what does a blonde put behind her ears to make her look more atractive?
her ankles Full text

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the artist that she wants a tattoo of santa claus on her inner right thigh and the thanksgiving turkey on her inner left thigh. The artist says, "ma'am that's kind of a strange request ... might i ask why you want those particular tattoos there?" "Well", she says, "my husband's always bitching that there's nothing good in the house to eat between ... Full text

To whom this may concern:
I have a serious issue. Do you mind me asking you for a favor? Here's my dilemma. I've been wanting this for a long time. I've been craving it for soooo long! I mean the memories of it going in hard and coming out soft; it's driving me insane! My tongue wrapped around it, licking up the juices. My mouth waters due to the strong urges. I can't help moan to each ... Full text

So, one day... a girl was sick and her boyfriend had come over to fix her
up and make her feel better... so he brought some soup, brownies, and a tape
with some re-runs of the OC and Laguna Beach. He makes the soup and sets
everything on a table next to her and pops in the tape. She eats the soup and watches
the video. Her boyfriend says that he's gotta go to meet a friend, so ... Full text

A man picks up a hooker and takes her back to his room.
she strips off all her clothes and all he does is stares at her.
" what Honey, is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one? "
No, it's just the first one i've seen big enough to crawl back into ! " Full text

One time this dude came back from camping with a huge cut on his shoulder. His friend said "How the hell did youget that?" The guy said "I had sex with a bear". His friend goes "Why the fuck would you do that?!" The guy goes "Well I was out taking a nice walk in the mountians and i was picking up some pine cones. Next thing i know some bear scratched my back with his claws". His friend looked ... Full text

Why is the chicken the dirtiest animal?.. Because it eats with its pecker :) Full text

Two men walk into a bar. They step up to the bar and turn around to check out the scenery.
The first man says, "Man, I could easily have sex with any woman in this bar."
The second mans ask, "Oh really, dude? Well, why do you say that?"
The first man replies, "Because I'm a rapist." Full text

Two cannibals were feasting on a missionary. The first cannibal says, 'You start at the feet and I'll start at the head and we'll meet in the middle." The other cannibal agreed and they started eating.
After a few minutes, the cannibal at the top asks the other one, "How are you doing?"
He replies, "I'm having a ball!"
The first cannibal says, "Wow, you sure eat fast!" Full text

This mouse was walking through the jungle one day when he sees an elephant in pain. The elephant says to the mouse,"Oh please mouse, could you get this thorn out of my foot?" the mouse says,"sure, but on one condition. as soon as the thorn is out, you must let me have my way with you." The elephant, in unbearable pain, agrees and the mouse removes the thorn and starts doing his dirty to the ... Full text

Okay, so this gay guy walks into a sports bar and sits at the bar and orders a margarita. the gay guy farts and says "excuse me". The guy next to him says "3 points". the gay guy goes "huh?'' and the sports guy says it was a small one just good enough for a field goal. the gay guy says "Oh" the guy next to him lets a big one and says "6 points". So the gay guy pushes out another small one so ... Full text

"hey you forgot to open one more present." so the girl says no i didnt i dont see one. so he said thats because its in the car hold on. so the boy went out to the car and came in with a little box. so he told her to open the box. when she opened it it was a paper shaped pink heart that said "your last gift is my heart. now listen to what i have to say" the girl looked up at the boy and he ... Full text

Mental Institution
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like hes driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replies, "Driving to Chicago!"
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlies room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks,
"Well, ... Full text

A guy turns to his girlfriend and sais,"Damn, you've got a big pussy....Damn you've got a big pussy."
The girl looks at him and sais,"OK,but why did you say it twice?"
The guy replies with,"I didnt,THAT was the echo." Full text

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.''
Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU.
There are three women sitting on a bench ... Full text

True story
My friends girlfriend and him had been dating for over a year, and so they decided to get married. His parents helped them in every way, so did me and my friends, and his girlfriend? She was hot! There was only one thing bothering him, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. His sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut ... Full text

These two buddies are hanging out at a bar, and the one buddy says to the
other buddy " Hey man, what's the deal with all this luck you have with
women? We both dress about the same, make the same amount of money,
and neither one of us is bad looking or anything. What's your secret?" The
lucky guy says " You know, it's all about the package." "The package, what
the ... Full text