A woman and a pro body builder met at a bar one night and hit it off well.They decided to go back to a hotel room for some all night fun.They get to the hotel room and the guy immediately starts to undress.First he takes off his shirt and says(refering to his arms) "see those baby thats 1000 pounds of dynamite".The woman starts to get more anxious.Then he continues to take off his pants and ... Full text

alright theres a married couple and one day the wife aask her husband to change a light bulb he said i ain't no electrian. later that day she ask him to fix a squeaky door and he said i ain't no carpenter. that evening she was trying to go the store but the car needed oil so she asked her husband to put some oil in the car and he said i ain't no mechanic and went to work. after he left a man ... Full text

roses are red, violets are corney, when i think of you ooooh baby i get horney, eat me, beat me, bite me, blow me, suck me, fuck me very slowly. if you kiss me dont be sassy, use your tongue and make it nasty. holy mother full of grace, bless my boyfriends gorgeous face, bless his hair that tends to curl, keep him safe from all the girls, bless his arms that are so strong, keep his hands ... Full text

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling ... Full text

A priest is receiving confession, and a rabbi joins him. A woman comes up to the priest and says "Father I have comitted adultery". The priest asks "how many times?". The woman says three. The priest says "OK I'll tell you what. You donate $20 and say 12 Hail May and you are forgiven".
After this the priest has to go somewhere and he tells the rabbi "You stay and
confess the rest of ... Full text

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For ... Full text

Little Johnny was on his paper route one day and his was collecting the money. He walked up to this retired strippers house to collect from her and she said I don't have any money right now would you take sex. Little Johnny says yeah and they go in the house. The women lays down on the bed and Little Johnny pulls out the biggest dick she has ever seen. Then Johhny starts putting these big ... Full text

out for a sunday drive ,, this little boy sees two dogs fucken,, hey daddy what are they doing ,, "his father tells him ohh they are making puppies...... later that night . he walks in on his parents havin sex... Daddy what are u doing to mommy... its okay son, we are making a baby..... he replies... roll her over daddy ,,,,I want puppies...... Full text

An old man walks into the dentist office and has a very bad tooth ache, the dentist calls him back into the room and checks out the tooth. The dentist tells him I'll have to pull it out, it's too gone to fix. The dentist gets the novacane and the patient tells him I can't take that I am allergic to it...so the dentist pulls out the laughing gas...the patient says I can't take that either, I am ... Full text

mr cadbury met mrs rowntree in a room on quality street, it was after eight. he turned out the light for a bit of black magic! and slipped his hand in her snickers and showed her his curly wurly. not keen to have any jelly babies she let him take a trip up bourneville boulevard. she screamed with turkish delight! as he took out his fun sized mars bar it felt a bit crunchie and she wanted some ... Full text

American, Russian and Burmese met and chatted in the bar once.
The American Started '' In our Country, the technology is so advancing, that our missiles can hit anywhere on the the earth to exactly right spot. ''
On hearing that the Russian retorted '' it is impossible, becasue there are many interferences like the earth orbit and wind direction. so, the missile can't hit the right ... Full text

A father brings along his little daughter to the barber while he gets his haircut. The little girl is watching the barber work while she eats her Hostess snack cake. Over time she gets closer and closer to the barber's chair where the barber is giving her dad a trim. The barber says to the girl "You're going to get hair on your twinkie." To which the girl replies, "Yeah, and I'm gonna get ... Full text

there were 3 men. A mexican, A black, and a chinese. and they were all chosen 2 work as laborers on a farm. the farmer was showing them aroung the farm when the farmers daughter came out 2 ask her father a question. the farmers daughter was beautiful. after the girl left the farmer noticed all three men ogling his daughter.
"she a beaty aint she." the farmer began
all three men ... Full text

Penis tells his two balls ???Today I will take U to a party tonight??¦
??? The two balls reply ???U bloody fucking liar, U always get inside and leave us outside??? Full text

if the answer is COCKROBIN what is the question? ... Full text

There was this girl about 13 years old. She loved cookies. Her parents were going away on a trip.
"Don't let anyone in while we're gone!" the parents said.
"Okay!" the girl said.
When they left, she heard the doorbell. She answered it. "Who is it?" she asked. It was a man. "I can't let you in!" she said.
"I'll give you 10 cookies!" he said.
"Okay!" she said.
She ... Full text

cute little 5 year old daisy sees a group of burly workmen turn up next door to build a house. she takes an interest and starts to talk to them.The builders with hearts of gold adopt her as site mascot.After a week they present her with a pink hard hat n gloves and even a wage packet with ?5. Goodness says mummy smiling are you working there next week? Daisy replies; I think so mummy,provided ... Full text

What's the difference between a 747 (a passenger plane with 2 levels) and a blonde?
Some people have never been inside a 747... Full text

A couple went to a sex therapist for help. The man said "Please doc, You gotta help us. Our sex life is in a rut." The doctor said that he had to examine each of them and only then could he make a recommendation. After the examinations he sat them down and said, " Ok, what you need to do is stop by the grocery store on the way home and pick up a bunch of grapes and a dozen doughnuts. When you ... Full text

What does a dentist say before sex: OPEN WIDE.
What does a dentist say during sex: Put This In Your Mouth
What does a dentist say after sex: Be Sure To Rinse Full text

Johny Luck was in Vegas. He thought with his last name he couldnt go wrong. Well he was wrong. For seven days he had been wrong. Ol Johny Luck was down on his luck. Infact Johny was down to his last ten bucks. Checking account empty, credit cards maxed. Hell he didnt even know how he was gona get back to the airport.
... Full text

if a long condom go's on a long prick and a short condom go's on a short prick what go's on a thick prick=A a ford jacket Full text

A woman out golfing was stung by a bee. Because the pain was so great she went back to the main building. A man who helped golfers with their postures came up to her and asked what happened. After telling she was stung by a bee he asked where did this happen? She replied between the first and second hole. He nodded and said your legs are too far apart when you golf. Full text

Why did God create men? Because Vibrators can't mow the lawn. Full text

An Old man has a bad tooth ache, he goes into the dentist office. The dentist brings him into the room and looks at the tooth, he tells the old man we cant fix it we need to pull it out! The dentist gets some novacane, the old man says I can't take that...I am allergic to it! So the dentist leaves the room and comes back with some laughing gas...the old man says I can't take that I am allergic ... Full text

6. You live surrounded by nuts
5. You have a head with no brains
4. You have one eye that can't see
3. Your best friend is a pussy
2. An asshole lives behind you
1. They make you do pushups until you throw-up
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What happens to a migdet when he walks into a woman? Answer: He get a clit round the ear and a flap across the face Full text

2 thieves are starving to death so they go to a farm in the middle of the night to steal some fruit. Suddenly a farmer approaches them and tells one of the to pull down his pants and start makin' a huge pile o' shit!...and then just as the other thief begins to laugh at his partner squating a huge turd, the farmer looks at him and shouts..."What the Hell are you laughin' at. You're the one ... Full text

Q: - What's your name Please?
A: - Abdulaziz Abdullah Mohammed.
Q: - Nationality?
A: - Saudi
Q: - Sex?
A: - 4 - 5 times a day.
Q: - No, I mean, Male or Female?
A: - Doesn't matter. Sometimes even a camel Full text

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just ... Full text