The man rode in the elevator skyscraper, go bored ... The man asked the
attendant:
- Apparently, you have a very hard work?
- Yes, sir.
- And that the worst of your work, perhaps ups?
- No, Sir.
- Well, then, perhaps descents?
- No, Sir.
- What will happen then?
- Questions, Sir. Just stupid question. Full text

Announcement :
Sold hourglass, with a second jet. Full text

- What is the difference between flies and journalists?
- Flies like also jam. Full text

A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door. In walks her husband's friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband's in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I'll give it to you if you'll open your bathrobe for me." She's offended, but ... Full text

There was a man who enjoped his sex life a lot, but sometimes had problems gettin 'it' up, so he went to see his doctor, his doctor said that to help it stay up he needed to masturbate a couple of hours before sex.
The man agreed but couldnt think of any good places, he thought of the toilets but realised he may be heard, his office, but someone may walk in.
As he was driven home he ... Full text

there was an english man who supported arsnal an scottish man who suppored hearts and and an irish man who supported Liver pool the 3 men were stuck on a desert they was really hungry when the spotted a dead camel the scottish man said i support hearts so he should eat the heart the irish man said well i support liverpool so i should eat the Liver and the english man said well i support ... Full text

one day a white guy went to jail for sexual assault. in his jailcell he saw that his cellmate was a big black man. the black guy went up to the white guy and said, "hey. to get to know each other lets play house. u wanna be the mommy or the daddy?" the white guy thought about it for a while and said "i'll be the dad" so the black guy said "then come over here and suck mommy's dick" Full text

One morning while making breakfast, a husband walked up to his wife, pinched her butt, and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control-top pantyhose.???
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.
The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, ???You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your ... Full text

A girl walked in the doctors room for an appointment. The male doctor told her to unzipper her jacket to see her boobs. She unzippered her jacket and her boobs were as big as footballs! The doctor ran over and started to fuck her. He took off her mini skirt and licked her pussy until cum came out. Then the doctor put his hand in her pussy. She screamed. The male doctor put his dick in her ... Full text

Once, a man was going away on buisness, and his wife liked a good sex now and then. So the man, just to be sure his wife would be honest, stopped by a porn shop to look for a penis sex toy. He sees a variety, but none that his wife will enjoy. When he asks the clerk, he smiles and goes down to the basement. He returns with an old hindi box. "Now this," the clerk said, "Is a voodoo penis. Watch ... Full text

It was early in the afternoon and a man was loitering in front of a bar called Lacy's Legs. A police officer walks up to the man and asks him "what are you doing?" and the man replied, "I'm waiting for Lacy's Legs to open so I can get a drink." Full text

what is the difference between an apple pie and a pussy?
You can eat your mum's apple pie Full text

A man feeling rather down in the dumps after splitting up with his girl-friend goes and sees his mate. His mate has sympathy for him and says, "you can borrow my Girl-friend, she's very frisky." The other man Replies "wow Really?!" then his mate says "oh by the way she can sing while giving a blow-job BUT you have to turn out the light"
Later that night she turns out the light and starts ... Full text

what does a rubix cube and a dick have in comin
the more you play with them the harder it gets Full text

one day there wuz a little girl and a little boy at the park with their pants pulled down. the little girl asked the little boy wat iz that and the little boy said i dont know.then the little boy asked the little girl the same thing and she said she didnt know. so that night the little girl asked her mom and her mom said thats ur garage dont let ne big trucks go in. then at the little boys ... Full text

Q:what does a kodak camera and a condom have in common?
A:They both capture the moment. Full text

One day in a small hotel, three poor male freinds see a beautiful model check in. Out of amazment, the model walks over to the three and says, "I am extremely bored. How about i let you each one of you have sex with me, and who ever gives me it the best ill give fifty bucks to." The three poor guys immediatly agree.
The first guy goes in and has there go. Comes back but the model is not ... Full text

there was a smart guy and a stupid guy. the smart guy gave the stupid guy poetry on his date that read; between your eyes your beauty lies and makes currie dry. the stupid guy walked up to his date and said, "between your thighs your pussy lies and makes the hair on my dickie rise" Full text

what not to say during sex:
i'm hungry
i need to go to the bathroom
i'm sleepy
i'm bored
your sister(or brother) wasn't this good
your mother(or father) wasn't this good
wow the whore i had last week wasn't this good
where does it go
damn STDs
i need another beer, i lost my fantasy of you being hot
can we make it a double bagger
when we're done ... Full text

Jan's hormones are outta control - the doc tells her that to correct the balance, he's putting her on men's testerone temporarily & he'll bring her in to monitor her progress. As luck would have it, the doc's mother turns seriously ill & he leaves town several weeks to be with her.
The doc returns & brings Jan in for an examination. He's alarmed when he sees she's sporting a beard - ... Full text

Q: Why did the LIttle girl put fish in her pocket?
A: Because she wanted to smell like the big Girls! Full text

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
nothing, they're stuck up bitches Full text

A girl goes to a doctor for a check-up. It's a routine exam, therefore, she takes of her shirt. When her shirt is off, the doctor sees a large "P" on her chest. The doctor says, "What the hell happend to you?" The Girl replies "Well, my boyfriend goes to college, and he is so proud of himself, that he wears his letterman jacket during sex. The check-up is done and the girl leaves.
The Next ... Full text

Q:How do mexicans remember 911?
A: They name their kids nino (with the accent), juan,and juan Full text

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's ... Full text

how many cops does it take to arrest a mexican?
4......1cop to aresst the mexican and 3 to carry his oranges... Full text

What have condoms and women got in common?
Their either on your dick or in your wallet! Full text

what did the hillbilly girl say right after she was done sex.......
get off me dad ur crushing my smokes Full text

1. Ive smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, its cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why dont we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. Its more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, theres a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are ... Full text

Whats the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your day
Anal sex will make your HOLE WEEK! Full text