'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say-talk in your sleep.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.