'Doctor, doctor! I feel like a piano.' 'Then I'd better take some notes.'
Patient: 'Doctor, how can I live to be a hundred?' Doctor: 'Well, I suggest you give up eating rich food and going out with women.' Patient: 'And then will I live to be a hundred?' Doctor: 'No - but it will seem like it.' Full text
Patient: 'Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep it in?' Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?' Full text