One day George Bush, Osama Bin Laden, and Suddam Hussain was walking through the desert when they saw a lamp.
They all grabbed the lamp at the same time and a geanie came out. The geanie said I can grant you all one wish because I can only grant three every time I come out.
So Suddam went first and said I wish to have peace with all countries.
A snap of the geanies finger and the wish was granted.
Bin Laden went next he said I want a wall 50 feet wide and 100 feet tall built around my country with no windows, no cracks, and no doors. A snap of the fingers and there was a wall.
Bush went next, he said, So you want a wall 50 feet wide and 100 feet tall.
Bin Laden ...   Full text

there's a rich guy who was diagnosed of having brain cancer and gonna die soon. the doc suggests him to do a brain transplantation and lists the choices of brains he can use and the price of them
karl marx's brain for 1 million dollars
einstein's brain, 2 million dollars
bush's brain, 5 million dollars
the rich guy was surprised that the price of bush's brain is more expensive than the other two genius, and inquired the doc
the doc simply replies, "simple, his brain is brand new. he never uses it in his entire life."

Theres 4 people on a plane and the plane is about to crash into a mountain. Unfortunately there are only 3 parachutes. The people on the plance are: Micheal Jordan, The Pope, Bush, and 9-year old.
They cant deside which 3 people will get parachutes.
Micheal Jordan takes a parachute and yells "I'm too famous to die!"
*Jumps off the plane*
Bush yells out "I'm the president of the USA! I can't die!"
*Jumps off plane*
Its down to The Pope and the 9-year old boy. Only one parachute left.
The Pope says "It's ok I've lived my years, I'll let the kid go."
Then the kid says "It's ok we can both go. That stupid american guy that looks like a monkey took my backpack."

this guy goes to heavon and at the gates there's all these clocks. And the guy says to god, " what are all these clocks for?"
And he says, "every time some one lies, the hands on the clock spin." And the guy says, "were's bush's clock?"
And god says, " It's in my room. Im useing it as a cieling fan."

What do you get when u mix a monkey and a voting scandale?
A president

there was a man hu had a house it was a big house. 1 day he went 4 sum
bread. wen he came home it was on fire, n a little green man was running
away from it!! he got a nw house it was smaller than the big house. it was
medioca size house. n he went 4 sum milk n he came bak n the medioca
house was on fire. n the little green man was running away. so he bought
a smaller house, this was average. he went 2 buy sum butter. he came
home and the average house was on fire and a little green man was
running away. so then he bought a small house. it was piddley. he went 2
buy sum cheese n wen he came bak the piddley house was on fire and a
little green ...   Full text

What does bush and his mom have in commmon?
a voodoo dildo.

President Bush decided to go riding on his ranch with Barbara Bush as a belated Mother's Day present.
She made it three miles before her legs gave.

From: Osama Bin Laden
To: President G.W. Bush
37OHSSV O773H
(to decode the msg read it upside down)

From: Osama Bin Laden
To: President G.W. Bush
37OHSSV O773H
(to decode the msg read it upside down)

Why does Laura have to be on top when she's having sex with her hubby?
Because Bush can only fuck up.

George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says:
"As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how my
country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a
Kingdom"

The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom,
you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."

George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a
Principality then?",

To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a principality you
have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince ".

Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How bout an
Empire then?"

The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies " ...   Full text

With all your honour and dignity - what would you do? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thinking...
By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one way or the other.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, but yet spontaneous.............
You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact...There is a chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane along with all the flooding...
There are huge masses of water all around you.... You are a ...   Full text

1 out of every 3 americans are overweight mr. bush. how will u slow this down?
Shoot em

Bush (in a southern voice): My fellow Americans, ................(2 min. puase).................I don't know what to say because my papers blank.

G W Bush joined the National Guard to stay out of the Vietnam jungles, but now he likes to play in Rice's paddy.

Q.what was R.E.M'S reaction to bush being re-elected?
A. "ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT......"

George Bush is sat in the oval office one morning, reviewing the Iraq situation with his generals. The door opens, an aide walks in...."Bad news Im afraid ,Mr President...we have just had word that 3 Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Iraq"
President Bush drops to his knees and puts his face in his hands...and starts sobbing with grief....absolutely inconsolable...the President seems to have taken the news incredibly badly......All the assembled generals can hear from the president is a mumbled "oh my god ...oh my god...."
Eventually, Bush looks up to Dick Cheney through teary eyes from where he is kneeling and asks....."Exactly how many is a brazillion,Dick?"

Ralph Nader, Al Gore and George W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun. After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decide to visit the men's room and they find a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance who says;
"Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, Ralph Nader steps up and says, "I think I'm the most truthful of us three" and he suddenly finds the ...   Full text

His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"

One day, three boys was walking and all of a sudden they see George W. Bush drowning. The three boys, not thinking, jumped down and saved him. After Bush was saved, he turned to all three of the boys and said "Thanks for saving my life, i will give you guys anything you want." The first boy said "okay, i want a mercedes". Bush said "Ok." The second boy says "Ok, i want one million dollars." Bush said "ok". The last boy said "I want a coffin." Bush said "why?" The boy said "my parents will kill me after i tell them who i saved today."

How is a liberal different from a puppy?
A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
(Sorry if I offended anyone.)

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?
Father: Sure, son. What's the question?
Son: What is politics?
Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me ???Tony Blair.??? Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her ???Gordon Brown.??? We take care of your needs, so we'll call you ???the People.??? We'll call the maid ???the Working Class,??? and your baby brother we can call ???the Future.??? Do you understand, son?
Son: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.
That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering ...   Full text

A man dies and goes to heaven. once he gets there, he sees peter standing there with millions of clocks behind him. The man says, what are all those clocks for? peter says, those are lie clocks. Every time you tell a lie it turns once. look. here's your's it's turned 7 times. here's abe linkin's clock. it's never turned. The man says, well where's doltin maginty's clock? peter replies, oh! it's in jesus's office. he's using it as a ceiling fan.

Q: Why did Jhon Kerry cross the road
A: because he couldnt get his dick out of the chicken

Q:What do you get when you put 50 gov. workers and 50 lesbians in the same room?
A:100 people who don't do dick.

Weather Service has issued a warning for yet another catastrophic hurricane folowing the heels of Ivan and Jeanne. The path of this hurricane zigs and zags and is therefore highly unpredictable. Experts predict that this one will cause the most damage to the United States that we have ever experienced in four years. They are naming this one Hurricane KERRY. Be advised that the only way for citizens to protect themselfs is by hiding behind a BUSH. And the only way from protecting yourself from the BURNING BUSH is by going to the hurricane and canceling the water with fire and fire with water. (Hurricane KERRY survives but not the BUSH)

what do monica lewinski and a vending machne have in common?
the sign sayin insert bill here

did you hear?. not a single lesbian voted for Kerry. They all love bush.

While the cop was smoking weed with the government and congress members, what did he do when he saw a person smoking (doing what he wanted)
shot him to get weed for the president