Political jokes

Turkey. Earthquake: 5,000 dead.
The United States will send Turkey 3 million dollars.
Russia will send Turkey 3 aircraft with humanitarian aid.
Germany will send Turkey 5000 Turks.

Q: What happend when Osama Bin Ladan spread his girlfriends legs
A: He saw Bush

You know the world's coming to the end when the best basketball player is chinese, the best baseball player is from the dominican republic, the best rapper is white, the best golf player is black, and the most powerful people in the world names are Bush, Dick, and Colon.

A man knocked on a persons door and said " oh Presidant Bush has been
captured by the Talaban and if we dont send them a billon pounds then
they will burn Bush on a fire with petrol." Can you help us
The man replies " Okay, so how much have you raised then"
He replies " About 2 gallons"

I heard that Election Day was a day of abstinence, no dick or bush.

Because in the bible, the only talking Bush is on fire...

I figured out why us Americans are loosing money.
Kerrys face was so big he made us buy big screen tv's just to fit his face on so we could watch the debates.

Remember, God spoke to Moses through a BUSH not a KERRY!!!!!

George W Bush is good for the economy:= He has silver in his hair , gold in his teeth , stones in his kidney , steel in his knees , sugar in his blood and gas in his ass!!!!

Whats the difference between Iraq and Vietnam?
Dubya had an exit strategy for vietnam

(In George Bush Voice)
I Belive that America is Like my butt when ever I scratch it something goes wrong! Thank You and good Night

why did kerry want to get his nipples peirced?
because he heard bush had a dick cheney

there were five presidents on a plane. george washinton, abe lincon, tom jefferson, george bush and bill clinton.
g washinton says "ill make 1 person happy" and so he throws 1 1 doller bill off the plane.
a liincon says "ill make 20 people happy" so he throws 20 1 doller bills of the plane.
t jefferson says "ill make 100 people happy" so he throws 100 1 doller bills off the plane.
g bush says "ill make the whole world happy" so he throws bill clinton off the plane.

what did bush say to kerry when he won teh election?
Why the long face?

WHY DOES MRS BUSH LIKE TO GO ON TOP WHEN THEY ARE HAVING SEX ? ? ?
Because George Bush can only fuck up!

I heard that there is this horrible, disgusting, foul, disease around now.
Its called "Gonnarealected".

Q: How do you get Bush out of the presidency?
A: Bribe him with a banana.

George, The Canadian Prime Minister and Bin-Ladin were walking down the beach together and the Canadian said look an Aladin Lamp.He picked up the lamp and said lets all rub on it and see if it works!! So they proceeded to rub on it together and PLOOF a genie popped out and said "thank you for getting me outta there and setting me free I will grant you three wishes but since you all rubbed together I will have to give you each one wish" . So who's first? They all decided to let the Canadian go first since he found the lamp. The canadian said for his wish he wanted all the farm land in Canada to be fertile forever. The genie said it's done and all the farm land in Canada was fertile ...   Full text

why do Australian guys wear shorts ..............
its cheap air-conditioning for their brains

How can you pick a well balanced Australian Male....................................
He's the one with a chip on both shoulders

I was talking with George W. Bush and I got on the subject of my new album. I asked him if he wanted tapes or CDs when he bought it. He replied, "I'll take CDs." to which I replied, "Well then, you can SEE DEEZ NUTS!"

Walking Eagle
President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American
Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his
future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of
living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed
"YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk for
approval.
Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most
enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers".
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a
plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking ...   Full text

Bush was in Africa with natives talking about Developing Aid, for instance:
"We americans love you, you are the best partners we have etc...."
All the natives shouted "HUGGA! HUGGA!" and Bush got excited: "I am on your side, we will give more money etc"
Natives: "HUGGA, HUGGA ;HUGGA" very loud and entusiastically.
Later Bush aske the chief "Can I have a look att your cattle over there?"
Chief "YES, but be careful that you do not step on hugga"

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE IS
CHANGING THE NATION'S EMBLEM TO A CONDOM BECAUSE IT MORE
CLEARLY REFLECTS HIS ADMINISTRATION'S OFFICAL & POLITICAL
STANCE.
HERE ARE A FEW REASONS THAT HAVE CAUSED HIM TO DO THIS.
THIS IS COMPLETLY BACKED BY INTELLIGENCE REPORTS THAT HIS
ADMINSTRATION HAS RECEIVED AND REVIEWED.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next
generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security
while you're actually being screwed.
It just doesn't get more accurate than that.

There is the Pope, a 10 year old boy, George Bush, an accountant and a
lawyer on a plane and only 4 parachutes on board when all of a sudden
the engins die and the plane starts to go down. The accountant says, "the
world runs around money so I have to live" He jumps out of the plane. The
lawyer stands up next and says" The world needs law and order so I must
live as well" He jumps out of the plane. George Bush stands up and says"
I'm the president of the USA and the most important person in the world, I
can't die" He jumps out of the plane as well. The Pope says to the little
boy, " You take the last parachute and live I've done my job in this ...   Full text

What did George Bush do when he found out Al Gore got a nipple ring?
He got a Dick Cheney

Bush or Kerry
There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of
them are Bush fans.
Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the
teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy--Johnny.
The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says,
"I'm not a Bush fan."
The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?"
Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry
fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry fan, and my Dad's a Kerry fan,
so I'm a Kerry fan!"
The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if
you're Mom ...   Full text

who is bush related to?
george bush SR.!!!

im called ste the rocket rostron and i am the world biggest joke i want to sleep with tony blair and then let G.W bush lick his cum off my face. I love tony blair VOTE LABOUR so i can lick his balls for 4 more years.
Send Britain Forward
Not Back
LABOUR RULES
i live in blackburn

Cheneys daughter is wrighting a book about her life
the working title of the book is " the only DICK I love is my daddy"