You might be a redneck if...The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.Your car has never had a full tank of gas.Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
How do you tell if a chick's to fat to fuck?When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them. Full text
Two turd - burgler butt buddies, are getting ready for bedtime & going thru their rituals. The one, sees the other smearing vaseline aggressively onto his bare chest & says "What the hell you doing that for?" He replies. "Silly, I was talking to one of the 'girls' & he told me that if I wanted a hairy chest that I should rub vaseline on it, - so there! " The other responds. " You dipshit !! You know if THAT were true, you'd have a pony - tail hangin' outta yer ASSHOLE by now !! " Full text