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You might be a redneck if... Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house The ASPCA raids your kitchen. You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it. Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado. You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something. Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town. Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.