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You might be a redneck if... Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray. The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house The ASPCA raids your kitchen. You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it. Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.