You might be a reneck if...You don't think the Ewoks are primitive. You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem. The Rancor monster refused to eat you. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.You think the stock market has a fence around it.Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.You burn your yard rather than mow it.You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
Knock KnockWho's there?Alli!Alli who?Alligator, that's who! Full text
Knock KnockWho's there?Jaguar!Jaguar who?Jaguar nimble, Jaguar quick! Full text