You know you're getting older when...Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep. You look forward to a dull evening. Your knees buckle and your belt won't. Your back goes out more than you do. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are hanging out on a limb of a cliff.As the limg begins to give away the brunette say, "One of us is going to have to let go or we will all die."The redhead gives a long impressive speech about how she has lived the most and that she will be the one to let go.The blonde is so impressed that she starts clapping! Full text
Q. How are blondes and turtles alike?A. When they're on their backs they're both screwed. Full text