Sms jokes

Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

You'd better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

You are never too blond to learn !!!

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand

oses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...