Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers license.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Full text
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. Full text