Q: Why did Jhon Kerry cross the road
A: because he couldnt get his dick out of the chicken Full text

A man dies and goes to heaven. once he gets there, he sees peter standing there with millions of clocks behind him. The man says, what are all those clocks for? peter says, those are lie clocks. Every time you tell a lie it turns once. look. here's your's it's turned 7 times. here's abe linkin's clock. it's never turned. The man says, well where's doltin maginty's clock? peter replies, oh! it's in jesus's office. he's using it as a ceiling fan. Full text