yo momma's so fat, i saw her walking down the street with a pig in her arms, i asked her, where'd u get that from, and the pig said I won it in a raffle!
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked. Full text
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off the cliff. There were no survivors. Bad News: There was an empty row of seats on the bus!! Full text